


Rome Wasn't (Re-)Built In A Day

by ElliePollie



Series: A New Normal [2]
Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Mental Health Issues, Post-Canon, Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:55:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26427463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElliePollie/pseuds/ElliePollie
Summary: She thought they were close... After his sisters disappeared.. he'd come and talk to her... He said she was the only one who understood him. She thought... She thought they had a connection.It's been three months since day dawned on that terrible night on the mountain. It's been three months since Sam last saw Josh. And now he's back and she has to work out how he fits back into her life after everything they've been through.ON A BREAK (because of writer's block and burn out)
Relationships: Ashley Brown & Sam Giddings, Ashley Brown & Sam Giddings & Chris Hartley & Josh Washington, Ashley Brown/Chris Hartley, Sam Giddings & Josh Washington, Sam Giddings/Josh Washington
Series: A New Normal [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1920940
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	1. It Takes Two to Tango

_Josh is here. Josh is at my house. Josh is standing on my doorstep._

Those are the only thoughts running through Sam’s head as she runs full pelt back toward her house. 

How does he manage to have such astronomically bad timing? 

She should be worrying about Ash but the only train of thought that her brain is capable of is that Josh, Josh freaking Washington, who she hasn’t seen or spoken to in months is standing on her doorstep right this second. 

It turns out, he’s actually _sitting_ on her doorstep. As she runs toward her house and sees him and Chris sitting side by side on her doorstep, so many emotions overwhelm her every thought and sense that she’s barely able to breathe. 

Chris is lunging at Josh, fist connecting with jaw. Sam is snapped back to reality, shutting the box that contains all those emotions as quickly as possible and finds herself shouting Chris’ name. 

She runs up to the front door, and bends over, breathing heavily, her hands on her knees. Normally she has no trouble running distances but right now she feels like throwing up. She looks between the two boys as Josh rubs his jaw and gripes, trying to work out what the hell is going on. She focuses in on Chris, hoping to get a sensible answer out of him but he just shakes his head, looking, well she doesn’t exactly know what to call the look on Chris’ face, he’s probably feeling as many confusing things as she is right now. 

He gets up and moves out the way of the door. Oh right! She was meant to be unlocking the door. She quickly pulls her keys out and unlocks the door, pulling herself and her thoughts together as she does. 

She takes a deep breath and then looks back to Chris as she opens the door, “you go up and look after Ashley, I'll deal with Josh.”

Chris heads inside and past her, as Josh stands up and smirks at her, “oh deal with me, am I in trouble, have I been a bad boy? You gonna spank me?”

She glares at him and points toward the kitchen. “In there!” She demands. 

He saunters into her kitchen, still grinning and hops up onto one of the counters making himself at home. She almost slams the front door behind her and then marches into the kitchen. Her anger simmers down as she sees the bright red mark blooming across Josh’ jaw, Chris really let him have it. 

She takes a deep breath, calming herself further and then walks over to the freezer to grab an ice pack for him. 

“Here you go,” she hands it to him. 

“Thanks,” he has enough sense to look slightly ashamed of himself. 

Sam lets out a sigh, “what happened, Josh?” His name feels odd on her tongue, she hasn’t said it in so long. 

Josh makes a face, “I may have said something about Ashley.” 

Sam sighs again, of course, he would, “yeah, that's a no-go zone with Chris,” she shakes her head, “remember what he was like before? Well times that by one million and you'll be just short of where he is now.” 

“I-is it because of the whole kidnapping thing?” 

“He told you about that huh?” She leans against the counter next to him. 

“Yeah,” Josh clicks his tongue, “I think he was trying to stop me from saying anything stupid, didn't work.” 

Sam’s head is still reeling with questions, still unable to process the fact that Josh is here, sitting in her kitchen, after all this time, he’s just here, he just appeared. She doesn’t understand what he’s doing _here_. Why he thinks he’s welcome after everything he put her through. 

“What are you doing here Josh?” She finally asks when she can’t hold it back any longer. 

Josh chuckles, “nice to see you too Sammy.”

Sam sighs, and tries to explain herself, “Josh, you can't... you can't just expect to waltz back in like this... You hurt me, you hurt us all,” she gestures toward the stairs, to where she knows Chris is trying his best to calm Ash down. 

Josh nods, the grin melting off his face, he focuses his eyes on his lap, “I know, I really, really fucked up and I'm sorry Sammy, I really am. But I... I guess,” he shrugs, “I just had nowhere else to go.”

“What about that big mansion with your name literally on it?” Sam frowns. 

“I cut ties with my parents.”

“Oh, Josh! Why? Why would you do that? After…”

“After losing Hannah and Beth? I dunno, they haven't exactly been the best parents in the world,” he mutters. 

“They did try Josh, we-we all did.” 

“Yeah, well not hard enough,” Josh bites, his eyes going hard as he glares at nothing. 

Sam sighs, he didn’t exactly try very hard either. Well, he did, but the thing that he tried hard to do was shutting them all out. She tried to be there for him, perhaps she should have tried harder? But it takes two to tango. 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” Sam shakes her head, brushing her thoughts away. 

Josh gives Sam a meaningful look, raising his eyebrows, “Sammy that's not going to work on me and you know it.” 

“I don't know,” she sighs, “I was just thinking... it takes two to tango.”

“Gee thanks, Sammy!” Josh chuckles, “you ever heard of victim-blaming?”

“You know that's not what I'm saying,” she gives him a look. 

Josh sighs, the grin dropping from his face again, focusing back on his lap, closing himself off again, “yeah, I know, I guess I haven't tried my best in the past either.”

“Y-you can't just show up expecting everything to be okay Josh, it's not fair,” Sam huffs. 

Josh laughs bitterly, “oh yeah, I'm sorry, it's really unfair of me to expect my friends to care about me. You know what else is unfair Sammy, schitozo-fucking-phrenia, that's a nice kettle of fish to dump on someone's life.”

“That's not our fault Josh,” Sam mutters, “you can't pin that on us, we didn't do anything.”

“That's the problem!” He turns to her, eyes dark and fierce. “You didn't _do_ anything, you didn't save my sisters and then you didn't save me!” He spits. 

“I-i-it,” Sam stutters, “it wasn't my responsibility to save any of you!”

“Well, you could have fucking tried!” He shouts.

Sam knows he’s just upset and angry, that he’s still hurting and that he’s taking that out on her, but anger burns within her at his accusations. 

“I did try!” She shouts back. 

Shit! She shouldn’t have yelled. She shouldn’t be getting angry. This isn’t helping. 

She shakes her head and pushes herself off the counter, turning away from him, “I'm not doing this Josh.”

“Well, it's nice that you get to a choice,” he mutters under his breath, crossing his arms. 

Anger burns in her chest again as she remembers everything he _chose_ to put her through. 

She turns back to him, because this time she’s going to stand up for herself, she’s going to let herself be fucking angry for once, instead of buckling under the pressure to make other people happy. 

“You had a choice, Josh! I know you were sick but you still chose to do all that shit to us. You chose to hurt me, after everything we'd been through. You chose to hurt Chris and Ashley, they're your best friends. You need to stop blaming everyone for everything, including yourself. You need to take responsibility for your actions. And you need to let Hannah and Beth go!”

The room is unbearably still for a few age-long moments. Sam’s words still echoing around both their heads. The static of the tension between them, tangible and dangerous. Sam braces herself for whatever Josh is going to throw back at her but is surprised when he looks up at her with a sad smile. 

“Thanks for the pep talk Sammy but you should leave it to the professionals, they've already said all that and more.” 

“Then why aren't you listening to them?” Sam cries out in frustration, feeling her anger threatening to boil up and spill out into tears. 

Josh shrugs, “old habits die hard?” He takes a deep breath and then says, “look, I didn't come here to upset anyone or to point fingers. I just wanted to see you.”

Sam is still baffled. She still doesn’t understand why _here_? Why _her_?

“But why me? Why not Chris, he's your best friend.”

“Some best friend he is,” Josh scoffs, “you-you get me, Sammy,” Josh says thoughtfully and then looks up at her with longing in his eyes. 

No. No. She can’t… She can’t even think about that right now. Can’t think about what they almost were, think about what they could have been. It’s… it’s just… not possible anymore. 

“Josh, you can't still think…” She sighs, trying to put her thoughts into words, “we can't go back to that,” she gestures between them, “whatever it was… I-I can't trust you Josh and… and that's really unfair on Chris, he cares about you a lot!”

“He sawed me in half!”

“We both know that's not true,” Sam crosses her arms. 

Josh sighs and goes quiet. Sam stays on the other side of the kitchen, looking at him from where she’s standing, taking him in. He looks small, the way he’s sitting, hunched up, he’s definitely lost some weight and muscle. His normally beautiful, olive-toned skin seems pale and almost sickly. His hair is a limp, floppy mess. She had hoped that wherever he was, he was being well looked after, she had trusted that Bob and Melinda would pull out all the stops to get him the best treatment possible but looking at him now, she can’t be sure that's what happened. 

“I'm sorry Sammy,” Josh says in a small, soft voice, “I'm really, really sorry, do you...” He gulps, “do you think you can forgive me?”

Sam takes a deep breath and then slowly nods, “yes, it's going to take some work, but I'll forgive you.”

“Thank you,” Josh nods, still using that small, defeated voice. 

Sam realises that she hasn’t heard any noise from upstairs and hopes that means Ashley is okay. 

“How about we go see how Chris and Ash are doing?” 

Josh gulps, looking at her with an almost panicked look in his eyes, “I'm not sure they'll want to see me.”

“I'm sorry,” Sam smiles politely, “I shouldn't have posed that as a question. We're going to go see how Chris and Ash are doing,” she grabs hold of Josh’s arms and drags him off the counter and toward the stairs.


	2. Penny for your Thoughts

_Josh is back._

Hours later after Josh and Chris have left, Sam is lying on her bed in her room, staring at the ceiling, the same thought still going through her head over and over again. 

_Josh is back._

_Josh is back._

She keeps playing back their conversation in her head. Keeps seeing that anger, hearing those accusations that are still festering inside of him after all these months. 

She feels her own anger burning inside her. How dare he?

_How dare he?!_

She tried so hard for him. She did everything she could. She lost her best friends. He lost his sisters. They talked, they comforted… they connected. 

_I thought we had a connection._

She thought there was something there, something happy and hopeful that they could have shared. And then he… 

No, she needs to stop. 

Dwelling on the past, letting this anger consume her isn’t helping anyone. 

She needs to do something. To focus her energy on something else and the best way to do that is to focus on some _one_ else. 

Sam pulls herself up off her bed, shuffles her feet into her soft, fluffy slippers and heads downstairs. 

She goes straight into the kitchen and grabs two mugs from the cupboard. She gets out a little saucepan and pours oat milk into it and then sets it on the stove to warm up the milk. 

As she stirs the saucepan of milk she glances at the clock. Her parents will be getting home soon. How is she going to explain this to them? They’ll be worried about her when they find out that Josh is back. They’ll ask her how she feels. She won’t have an answer for them. 

Sam shakes herself out of her thoughts and moves her focus back to the milk. She grabs the jar of dark, salted caramel hot chocolate nibs and stirs in a few spoonfuls until the milk goes a chocolatey brown colour and it’s sweet smell fills the air around her. 

Then she pours her concoction into the mugs she got out and tops them with some chocolate powder and caramel sauce. She sets the two mugs on a tray. Then, she opens up one of the cupboards, reaches right to the back and pulls out the secret stash of her favourite vegan cookies and places them on the tray too. 

Sam takes a deep breath, still making a conscious effort to put thoughts of Josh to the back of her mind and picks up the tray. She walks back up the stairs and walks up to Ashley’s door. Shifting the tray onto her hip so that she can hold it with one hand she knocks on the door. 

“Ash?” 

“Come in.” 

Sam pushes down the handle and then returns the tray to both hands, pushing the door open with her slippered foot. As she walks into the room she smiles at Ashley who is sitting on her bed, knees drawn up to her chest, holding an open book in her hands. Using her back Sam closes the door behind her. 

“I brought hot chocolate and cookies.” 

“Thanks,” Ashley smiles back softly, placing her bookmark in her book and putting it down. 

Sam moves across the small room and places the tray down on the bed in between them as she sits down facing Ashley. 

“Rough day, huh?” Ashley gestures to the packet of cookies. 

“You know it!” Sam rolls her eyes and picks up the packet quickly tearing it open. 

Ashley chuckles a little, “yeah,” she sighs, “me too.” 

Sam offers a cookie to Ashley who gladly takes it, pulling one of the mugs of hot chocolate toward her and dipping the cookie in it. Sam takes one too, biting into it and chewing slowly. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Sam asks. 

Ashley shakes her head, covering her mouth as she finishes a bite of cookie, “too many to verbalise.” 

“Same.” 

Ashley picks up her hot chocolate, cupping the mug in her hands, and blows some steam off the top to cool it down a little. 

“Where’s Bear? I thought he was in here.”

“He is,” Ashley nods to a pile of blankets. 

Sam lifts up the corner and smiles when she sees the little red snout. 

“He’s going to miss you when you leave.” 

“If I leave…” Ashley sighs, “I’ve got to get a scholarship first.” 

“You will,” Sam reassures Ashley as she picks up her mug of hot chocolate. 

“You don’t know that.” 

“You know, you can stay here for as long as you need, this is your home now. If you need a year to save some money for college-”

“I can’t,” Ashley shakes her head. 

“Why?” 

“Because if I do, then... I’ve been beaten by everything that happened.” 

“No, not beaten, just recovering from a hard fight.” 

“What about you?” Ashley asks, diverting her eyes as she changes the subject. 

“What about me?” 

Ash looks up at Sam, meeting her eyes and taking a breath as if to say something. Then she bites at her lip, looks away and shrugs. 

“Yeah, I know, how do I feel about Josh being back, I’ve been asking myself that.” 

Ashley shakes her head, “no, not just that, you have other things going on in your life too. Josh isn’t the only thing that matters.”

Sam lets out the deepest sigh she’s done all day, “sometimes it feels like he is, or at least that he wants to be. Sorry, that’s an awful thing to say.” 

Ashley shrugs, “sometimes you’ve done all you can, sometimes you have to learn to fight _for_ yourself instead of sacrificing yourself.” 

Sam nods, taking in her words for a good couple of minutes, silence stretching out between them. 

“You’re smart, you know.” 

Ashley smiles, “I’ve been told. You know you don’t have to let him back in if you don’t want to.” 

Sam sighs and chews on her lip for a moment, “I do want to though.” 

“Well, do it on your own terms and not his then.” 

Sam goes to take a sip of hot chocolate only to find her mug empty. She stares down at the dark, chocolatey dregs. 

_Josh is back._

All those emotions from earlier overwhelm her again. Her breath catches in her throat. Tears prick at the corners of her eyes. 

“Can I have a hug?” She sniffs, still staring into her mug. 

“Sure,” Ash takes the mug out of Sam’s hands and places it on the tray which she then quickly moves onto her desk before returning to the bed. 

She sits down and pulls Sam into her arms. Sam leans into her, her hands holding tightly onto one of Ashley’s arms. She buries her face into Ashley as she feels the first tears leak from her eyes. Ashley squeezes her a little tighter and gently rocks her side to side. 

For a few minutes, feeling safe in Ashley’s arms, she let’s all those emotions loose, feeling them all, not judging, or pushing any of them away, letting herself feel them, acknowledge them and maybe start to understand them. 

Then she feels something brush her back, something trying to wiggle between her and Ashley. The two girls lean away from each other, looking down to find Bear nosing his way in between them, feeling left out of their hug. 

Sam laughs through the remainder of her tears, “hi buddy,” she reaches out and gives the top of his head a scratch, “I’m sorry, am I taking up all of your favourite person’s attention.” 

“No,” Ashley grins, stroking him, “he just wanted to make sure you were alright and give you the best medicine there is.” 

“And what might that be?” Sam descends into a high squeaky voice reserved specifically for the dogs as she scratches Bear’s chin. 

“Doggy love and affection of course,” Ashley laughs as Bear lifts his snout to lick Sam’s face. 

“You’re right,” Sam grins, bundling Bear up in her arms, “there’s nothing better.” 

Bear lets out a little yap as if in agreement and happily wags his tail. The two girls laugh and continue to shower their love upon the happy little dog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you're enjoying this fic!


	3. Easier Said than Done

_Josh is back._

Sam doesn’t know how many times she’s thought that over the past week and she’s still thinking it as the four of them climb out of Chris’ truck in front of the arcade. 

The arcade is old and dingy looking. The paint on the outside of the building is peeling and faded, the windows could do with a wash. The large neon sign above the door that says ARCADE has a couple of broken letters and keeps flickering on and off. 

“Ah, home sweet home,” Josh spreads his arms out as if to embrace the building. 

“Mmm,” Sam frowns and raises an eyebrow, finding it hard to understand why the other three used to come here all the time. 

She watches as Ashley pulls Chris inside with a smile, glad that their relationship is slowly mending after everything they’ve been through. She and Josh follow them, entering the old arcade with its sticky carpet and its smell of teenage BO and spilt soda. 

Josh leads her in the direction that Ashley and Chris have gone. They join them by the coin pushers. Sam frowns, so far she’s unimpressed, and she’s surprised that they want to get scammed rather than play actual games. Bored, she looks forward to actually seeing what these dorks play and getting to play some games herself and hopes that that _is_ what will happen. 

Finally, once Chris is done with the coin pushers, Josh eagerly leads the way towards the rest of the games in the arcade. Ashley and Chris follow Josh, they all seem to automatically know where they’re going. Sam hangs back a bit, feeling like an interloper, but still follows. 

“Prepare to die Brown!” 

Sam stops at the same time that Ashley does. She can’t see Ashley’s face but she doesn’t need to. They aren’t exactly strangers to the idea of death and she knows that Ashley’s family name is a sore spot for her right now. Sam braces herself as she sees the smirk on Josh’ face when he turns around. 

“You scared?”

“I um…” 

_Say it, fight for yourself like you told me to._

“That’s not okay, Josh.” 

“What?” 

“T-there have been _too_ many close shaves with death…” She tries to explain, “and... I would prefer it if you didn’t call me Brown.” 

Relief and anxiety hit Sam simultaneously. She’s glad that Ashley had the courage to speak up but at the same time, she’s terrified that Josh will say something that means they’ll have to cut the night short. 

“Oh, right, sorry. Okay, gotcha,” Josh shoots some finger guns at her, “let's go with Red instead.” 

“Yeah, thanks.” 

Sam sighs and looks over at Chris, sharing a look of relief with him. They head over to a game, Sam trailing behind, looking at all of the unfamiliar machines surrounding her. 

When she gets over to where the other three are standing, Josh and Ashley have already started their game. She finds another machine to lean on as she watches. She crosses her arms and worriedly witnesses their bickering, anxious that it could easily turn into something more hostile. 

She looks over to Chris, expecting to share a concerned look with him, but he has a grin on his face and is watching the game avidly. She cocks her head to the side, wondering how he can actually find this that fun. 

She sidles up to him with a smirk on her face, “so when do you get to play?”

“When they run out of money or get mad at each other,” Chris sniggers. 

Sam sighs and glances at them as Josh elbows Ashley and she smacks him in return. She’s spent enough time around Josh and Ashley to know that the constant bickering is normal but it still gives her a heavy feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. 

“Let’s hope it’s the former,” she mumbles. 

Soon, Josh has had enough of losing and gladly heads toward another game, “House of the Dead time!” 

Sam freezes. She feels a chill go up her spine. Instead of the hard plastic of an arcade game at her back, there’s a cold stone wall. 

A monster’s face next to her own. A monster that used to be her best friend. It seems to look directly at her with its unseeing eyes. Its teeth are sharp as razors and its mouth is surrounded by blood, both old and fresh. The stench of rotting meat and death are rolling off it. 

Surely it knows she’s there. Surely it can smell the fear radiating off her like heat. 

It lets out a deafening shriek right next to her ear. 

All she can hear is ringing. 

And all the while, that stupid quote replaying in the back of her head, in Josh’s ridiculous impression of Ben Foster in 30 Days of Night. 

_That cold ain’t the weather, that’s death approaching_

She snaps out of it, blinking in the dim light of the arcade. She looks at the other three, all frozen in place. Ashley has gone as white as a sheet, Chris looks like he’s about to throw up and Josh still has a stupid grin plastered on his face. 

_That cold ain’t the weather Sammy, that’s death approaching_

Sam takes a deep breath, shaking away the memory. She glances at the game with the grotesque, zombified figure on the side of it. That game is a terrible idea, she can feel it in her bones. 

Ash told her she had to stop sacrificing and fight for herself. Sam knows she's right, but these things are easier said than done. It was okay when Ashley spoke up earlier, hopefully, it will be okay again, if Sam speaks up now. 

Sam takes a deep breath. 

“Uh, Josh…” 

His eyes flick to her and they’re lit up with eagerness and excitement and she almost gulps down what she's about to say, but she steals herself and forces it out. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“Oh come on!” Josh continues to smirk, “we should be experts at this shit by now.” 

“W-w-why don’t we do one of the space games?” Ashley suggests. 

Sam nods eagerly, her eyes pleading with Josh to agree. 

He seems to think about it for a moment and then he nods and sighs, “fine, space game it is.” 

As they walk toward the space game, Sam lags behind again, noticing how many of the games are the shoot em’ up types with a frown. 

“Why do so many of these games have guns anyway? You should be boycotting them to support gun control.” 

“Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, please tell me you do not subscribe to the idea that video games cause violence,” Josh pleads, putting his hands together in prayer, “because Ash only stabbed me with scissors that one time.” 

Ashley stammers, the panic in her voice setting Sam’s heart racing, “I-I-I didn’t know that was you!” 

“Josh,” Chris warns, but not firmly enough. 

“Had to have stitches you know, you’ve got a mean swing on you Red.” 

“Josh!” Sam snaps, angry and upset that he’s doing this again, ripping off bandages and opening up old wounds. 

“You too Sammy, gave my brain a good ol’ bashin’ with that bat.” 

The breath catches in Sam’s throat as the memory of running around the labyrinthian basement, clutching a towel as she was chased by a maniac in a mask. 

Sometimes it’s hard to remember that the maniac was Josh and sometimes it’s hard to separate them. Sam doesn’t know which approach is best. 

She hears Chris and Josh’ voices as if from far away. Something in the back of her head is telling her that she should be paying attention, that something bad could happen if she doesn’t. It takes a lot of will power but she manages to focus back in on the conversation. 

“Maybe you should check, it’s been awhile, you might have been knocked off the leaderboard.” 

“Pft, as if anyone could beat my high score.” 

“Pride comes before a fall.” 

Josh seems to think about it for a moment. He glances at Sam, she shies back, deliberately avoiding his gaze. He grabs some coins from Chris and heads back toward the game. 

“Shit!” She hears him yell. 

“Told you!” 

“So,” Sam sighs, turning to Chris and Ashley, keen for a distraction, “what other games do you dorks like to play?” 

“Skeeball,” Ashley suggests. 

Skeeball sounds good to Sam, hopefully, it will help to take her mind off things, so when they look to her for confirmation she nods. 

***

The game of skeeball that they play only confirms what Sam already suspected; that these guys have spent way too long in this arcade. Otherwise, how would these two awkward nerds be so good at something which requires so much hand-eye coordination? 

Once they’re done, Sam looks around the arcade for something that she might actually win at. She spots the dancing game and turns back to them with a grin. 

“Either of you two up for a dancing challenge?” 

Ashley wrinkles her nose, “I don’t dance.” 

“Chris?” 

Chris snorts, “trust me you do not want to see my attempt at dancing.” 

Sam watches as Chris operates the claw machine, trying to win something for Ashley. She sighs, as fun as it is to hang out with Chris and Ash and even though they pretty much never do any PDA it’s very obvious that they’re in love and that Sam is not. 

She thought she was, or at least, she thought she could have been. 

She turns away from the claw machines and peers around the arcade, seeing if she can catch a glimpse of Josh from where she’s standing. She’s not eager to witness what House of the Dead might have in store but she does want to find a dance partner. 

Quietly leaving Chris and Ashley she browses an aisle of games. As she walks down the aisle she can hear the obnoxious horror music accompanied by gunshots and guttural groans. She sighs, her eyes once again drawn to the dance machine. 

She takes a deep breath and walks toward the sound. She peers around one of the games and sees Josh standing at House of the Dead, fully focused on killing zombies. 

She flinches as she watches the violence unfold on the screen. She hides behind the game for a moment, building up her confidence. She takes a deep breath and steps out from behind the game. 

“Hey, Josh?” 

“Jesus fuckin’ christ!” Josh jumps a mile in the air, he misses his shot and it's game over, “Sammy! You can’t just creep up on a guy like that!” 

“Sorry,” she smirks, “your dorks were getting all mushy, winning each other plushies.” 

“My dorks?” He raises an eyebrow. 

She shrugs, “you’re the one that found them.” 

He chuckles, “guess I can’t argue with that. If they’re my dorks, what does that make you?” 

“Your kind and considerate _friend_ Sammy,” she smiles, trying to ignore the emphasis that she felt she had to put on friend. 

“So if you’ve abandoned the dorks, what do you want me for?” 

“I need a partner.” 

“A partner in crime? ‘Cause I’d be great at that!” Josh grins. 

“No, a dance partner,” she motions to the game. 

“Ah,” Josh smiles, “well, I think that can be arranged.” 

“Come on then pard’ner,” Sam grins cheerily. 

“Wait, I gotta get my cowboy boots on,” Josh pretends to put his finger guns in two holsters at his hips, and pulls some imaginary boots on. 

Sam laughs, “come on.” 

“Not until you appreciate my mime skills,” he pretends to be stuck inside a glass box. 

“They are appreciated,” Sam chuckles, shaking her head. 

“Now, let’s dance,” Josh leads the way over to the dance machine. 

They each take their places on the dance pads. Josh turns to Sam and does a low bow, holding out his hand with a couple of coins in it. 

“May I have this dance?” 

“You may,” Sam smiles, taking the coins from him and slotting them into the machine. 

They choose to try a song on beginner as a warm-up and to see how well they do. As the music starts they both gear up to dance. They start dancing and Sam quickly gets into the groove, Josh is a little less coordinated but manages to find the beat after a few moves. 

They finish the dance out of breath, watching as the machine counts up their score. 

“'Ay, would you look at that,” 

“High five gurl!” Josh grins. 

Sam high fives him with a smile, “we make a pretty good team, don’t we?” 

“Yeah, guess we do,” he smiles back, “want to make it a bit more challenging?” 

“Sure,” Sam nods. 

They do a few more dances, upping the difficulty until they fail. They finish very out of breath and quite sweaty. But Sam feels good, she likes the feeling, the rush of endorphins that comes with exercise. 

“Ah well,” Josh shrugs, “can’t win ‘em all. Anything else you’d like to play?” 

“I’ve always enjoyed air hockey.” 

“Okay, sounds like fun.” 

They head over to the air hockey machine and slot in some money to get the puck. They each take their places at either side of the table and start playing, hitting the puck back and forth, trying to score points. 

“Yes!” Sam grins when she wins. 

“Double or nothing?” 

“What are we doubling?” Sam laughs. 

“Pride?” 

“Okay, sure,” Sam chuckles. 

Josh slots some more money into the machine and they start another game. The puck drifts over to Josh’s side of the table, he waits until it’s close to his paddle and then strikes it hard and fast. It comes zooming across the table toward Sam who is completely unable to defend her goal as it shoots in. Josh smirks at her across the table. 

“D-did I just get hustled?” 

“Maybe,” Josh chuckles, raising an eyebrow, “only one way to find out,” he nods to the newly released puck. 

They continue the game and Josh absolutely thrashes her. 

“So, the first time, you just let me win?” Sam asks once the game has finished. 

“I didn’t want to completely destroy your pride.” 

“You putz,” Sam gives him a joking shove. 

Josh laughs, “you’re just bitter.” 

“Maybe, but I will most definitely beat you at the basketball game.” 

“As if, shorty!” 

“Hey! You’re short too! Have you seen yourself standing next to Chris?” 

“Just because I hang out with that giant of a man,” Josh points over his shoulder towards where Chris is, “doesn’t make me short, it’s an unfair comparison.” 

“You’re still short in your own right,” Sam smirks. 

“Taller than you,” he sticks his tongue out at her, “and I’m going to beat you at basketball.” 

“You wish,” Sam walks toward the basketball machine, a bounce in her step. 

They play a game and Sam proves Josh wrong by thoroughly beating him. He, of course, insists on a rematch which he also loses. Sam laughs and smiles and manages to forget about the past for a little bit. 

***

Just as they’re about to leave the arcade Sam spots the photo booth near the exit. She knows it’s probably as sticky and disgusting as the rest of the arcade but that doesn’t stop the thrill that goes through her when she sees it. 

It’s the kind of thing that she and Hannah and sometimes Beth would have done together. She still has so many photo strips of them tacked up around her room. Perhaps it’s time to add some new faces to the wall. 

“Wait! Before we go let’s hit up the photo booth!” She calls to the others. 

“Oh, no, no, no,” Chris shakes his head, “I do not want to add to the amount of blackmail material Josh has on me.” 

“Hey, I thought friendship was about trust?” Josh objects with a chuckle. 

“You think I trust you, that’s cute,” Chris snorts. 

“Wise choice,” Josh nods. 

“I’m not sure either,” Ashley wrinkles her nose. 

Sam sighs, she thought she would have Ash on her side. If she has Ash then it’ll be much easier to convince Chris. She’ll just have to give Ashley some incentive, “come on Ash, you could stick it up on your wall!” She grinned. 

“Oh, you’re right!” Ashley beams and turns to Chris, “please Chris, pretty please.” 

Chris gives Sam a knowing, suspicious look, she smirks back at him, feigning innocence. 

“Alright,” he gives in. 

“Yes!” Sam cheers, “Josh, you in.” 

“I’m always in when it comes to you Sammy,” Josh leers at her. 

Sam blanches at his words with a frown, she doesn’t like what they imply, she doesn’t like the look on his face either. 

He shakes his head and changes his answer, “yes, to the photo booth!” 

Sam walks over to the booth and climbs in first, sitting down on the furthest corner of the bench. Josh comes in and looks around at the small space. 

“Oh cosy!” He smirks, moving to sit next to Sam. 

She shuffles up so that she’s pressed right against the side of the booth. There’s still a part of her that knows she needs to keep her distance from him. Maybe a photo booth wasn’t the best idea if that’s what she’s trying to do. 

“Come on Cochise,” Josh sticks his arm out of the booth and yanks Chris inside, pulling him down onto the bench. 

As Chris joins them on the bench things become a lot more squished. Sam is acutely aware of the way Josh is pressed up against her side, shoulders and legs touching. She takes a quiet, deep breath and all that happens is that his familiar scent hits her in the face. 

A part of her wants to leap out of the booth and as far away from Josh as possible. And she loathes to admit it but another, small part of her, wants to lean into the sensation, the smell, the touch, to lose herself in him completely. 

She shakes herself, tensing her muscles. She can’t let herself think that way. She can’t feel that way again, can she? 

She grabs the money and starts slotting in coins, quickly selecting the kind of photos they want. 

“Okay, photo planning-” Josh announces. 

“Oh shit, no time!” Sam sits up as the timer begins to count down, tensing as her shoulder brushes against Josh’s. 

“Sam!” Josh protests as the flash goes off. 

Chris and Ashley laugh, Sam forces herself to seem bright and cheery, she just has to survive through three photos. 

“Quickly, silly faces!” She calls out and pulls a random face as it counts down again. Another flash. 

“Zoolander!” Josh cries. 

She pouts for the camera. Flash. 

They need one nice photo, “and now smile, proper smiles!” 

Josh puts his arm around her, a shiver goes down her spine and she pulls her best smile for the photo. 

“Damn, think I blinked,” Chris chuckles. 

“You better not have Hartley,” Sam points a finger at him, doing her best impression of ‘I’m fine and this is normal’, “I paid good money for these photos.” 

Ashley and Chris climb out of the booth and as soon as there’s room, Sam dashes out too, a sigh of relief leaving her once she’s out of the confined space with Josh. 

She focuses on the printing noise of the photos and watches the slot where they’ll come out intently. Once they’re printed, she grabs them to have a look, hoping that she managed to mask her panic well enough for the photos. 

A smile creeps onto her face as she looks at them, they all look so happy and the photos are pretty funny too, “I love these, look Ash,” she passes one of the strips to Ashley. 

“Thanks. Oh my! Wow! These are great!” Ashley laughs. 

“Can I see?” Josh asks, leaning over her shoulder. 

She shies away from him but passes him the strip with a smile, “here you go.” 

She reminds herself again that she needs to keep her distance from him. But as she looks at the way he smiles down at the photos, she realises, that’s easier said than done. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	4. Alone at Last

_Josh and I are alone_

Sam watches as Chris disappears off up the stairs to find out what’s going on with Ashley. She hopes that Ashley’s okay, she even considers going up after Chris but it’s probably best not to crowd into Ashley’s tiny room and risk making her more anxious. 

She becomes acutely aware that she is once again alone with Josh. Her urge to follow Chris up the stairs doubles but she resists and lets out a silent sigh. For someone that’s supposed to be keeping her distance, she’s not doing a very good job. 

“So, Sam, Samantha, my good friend Sammy,” Josh grins. 

“Yes Josh,” she turns to him, rolling her eyes a little and crossing her arms, a smirk on her lips. 

“How’s things?” 

“Was it really necessary to list all the variations of my name before that question?” 

“That wasn’t _all_ the variations, I could go on for longer.” 

“Please don’t.” 

“And anyway, yes, it was absolutely necessary! Now Sam, Samantha, my good friend Sammy, you gonna answer my question?” 

“Things are good,” she nods. 

“Wow! A+ answer, really got some in-depth analysis in there, and very sophisticated language.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was being graded on my answer to ‘how’s things’,” she makes quotation marks with her fingers. 

“You were,” he nods, “and you failed.” 

“How will I ever survive such failure,” she rolls her eyes. 

“You could resit the test.” 

“You know what, I’m good, how about you take it instead. How’s things with you, Josh?” 

“Eh,” he seesaws his hand back and forth, “same old, same old. Homeless, jobless, qualification-less and sleeping on a camp bed. Livin’ in the lap of luxury really.” 

“Right,” Sam sighs, giving him a sympathetic smile. It worries her that he’s only just come out of therapy and he’s already got all of that to deal with, that kind of situation isn’t good for anyone’s health. 

“Oh wow! I’m sorry, did I just kill the mood?” 

“Little bit,” she mumbles. 

“My apologies,” he bows mockingly, “I will refrain from speaking of my misfortunes again.” 

“You don’t have to do that Josh,” she shakes her head and then adds in almost a whisper, “please don’t do that.” 

He stops joking for a moment, his eyes going serious, “sorry, I won’t.” 

“Thank you,” she nods, sighing quietly in relief. 

“So why don’t we go back to your answer?” He grins, “in what ways are things good?” 

“My parents are well, mom’s campaign is great, the dogs are all happy, Ashley’s slowly getting better, little victories as they say,” Sam smiles softly. 

Josh chuckles. 

“What?” She frowns. 

“I was asking about how _you_ are and all you’ve done so far is tell me about how everyone else is.” 

“Oh… I guess I was.” 

“You want a third attempt?” 

“Third time lucky as they say,” she nods, “I’m… I’m a lot of different things. Hard to keep track of it all really,” she chuckles lightly. 

He nods, “Yeah, I get that.” 

She sighs, looking up the stairs, “what’s taking them so long?” 

“I dunno,” Josh shrugs, “but they’re not fucking, I can tell you that much.” 

Sam frowns at him and then calls up the stairs, “hey uh guys! Let’s get this show on the road!” 

“Yeah!” Josh yells, “stop twitterpating and get your asses down here!” 

“Did you just reference Bambi?” Sam raises an eyebrow. 

“I’m sorry, did I bring back the scarring childhood memories of the evil hunter?” 

“Most evil Disney villain,” Sam nods. 

“What about Cruella De Vil? All those poor little puppies,” Josh clasps his hands to his heart. 

“You’re right,” Sam nods, “or Clayton, trying to capture and kill an endangered species, they’re a bad bunch, the Disney villains.” 

“Mmm, Freddy and Hannibal have nothing on them,” Josh chuckles. 

Sam laughs and then notices Chris coming down the stairs, “everything okay?” 

“Ash and I are gonna stay home, she’s feeling stressed about exams.” 

“Oh,” her face falls, “I guess the movie trip is cancelled then.”

“No, you guys can still go, enjoy the movie, I’m sure Josh will have plenty to say about it once you get back.” 

“I’ll write you a paper.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Welcome,” Josh blows Chris a kiss and then turns to Sam with a grin, “come on Sammy, what do you say? The night is still young, there’s still a movie or two to be enjoyed.” 

Sam raises her eyebrows at him. 

A whole evening, alone with Josh. Is that really such a good idea? The arcade was mostly fine, they had fun together there. But she’s supposed to be keeping her distance, establishing boundaries. How’s she supposed to do that when she keeps ending up alone with him? 

He grins warmly at her, waiting for her response. Her stomach flutters. 

She sighs, rolling her eyes, “alright, but only _a_ movie, not two, I never agreed to two.” 

Josh puts his hands up in defence, a smirk on his lips, “a movie,” he nods and looks at his watch, “which we better get going to if we want to get there in time.” 

“Here,” Chris throws his keys to Josh, “take the truck.” 

“Look at that Sammy! We’ve got wheels!” Josh dangles the keys in her face. 

“Treat her right,” Chris warns Josh. 

“Don’t worry, I’m a gentle lover,” Josh gives Sam a wink. 

Sam rolls her eyes and pulls a face, “let’s just go already,” she sighs, opening the door, “bye, Chris.” 

“Bye,” she hears Chris close the door behind them. 

“Ah, alone at last,” Josh sniggers and throws an arm around her shoulders. 

Sam takes hold of his wrist and removes his arm, ignoring the fluttering in her stomach, “you’re such a sleaze,” she rolls her eyes. 

“Your carriage awaits,” Josh opens the passenger door for her. 

“I think I can manage a door,” Sam raises her eyebrows. 

“Fine,” Josh shuts the door again with a shrug, “but don’t come whining to me about how chivalry is dead,” he marches around to the driver’s door. 

“I won’t,” Sam smirks, re-opening the passenger door and getting in. 

Sam straps herself in as Josh adjusts the driver seat and mirrors. 

“Fuckin’ manual,” Josh mutters. 

Sam chuckles. 

“You got something to say?” Josh looks up at her, eyebrows raised. 

“Nope,” Sam shakes her head, sealing her lips with a grin. 

“Good,” he starts up the truck and drives them toward the movie theatre. 

Sam turns the stereo on and gets her phone hooked up to it to play some of her music. She puts on some soft, mellow, singer-songwriter music. 

“Oh come on Sammy, what is this trash?” Josh reaches toward the stereo controls. 

Sam smacks his hand away. 

“Hey, I’m driving, I get to pick the tunes!” 

“Exactly, you’re _driving_ and that is what you should focus on doing. While _I_ manage the ‘tunes’ as you call them.” 

“Hmph.” 

Sam shrugs and looks out the window, gently nodding her head along to the music. The light Albertan Summers mean that even in May it’s still light outside at this time. 

_Alone at last_

The words are still bouncing around Sam’s skull. She wonders if there was some truth behind his joke, whether he wants to be alone with her. Does she want to be alone with him? It’s a little late to ask that now. 

She dares to move her attention away from the outside world and glance over at Josh in the driver's seat. He’s calm and relaxed and, despite his earlier protests, is tapping his thumbs gently along to the music. Even though he looks a little pale and worse for wear he’s still got that undeniable Washington beauty and charm that causes Sam’s breath to catch in her throat. 

Josh turns his head to glance at her and she quickly returns her attention to her window, suddenly becoming very interested in all of the clouds in the sky. Out of Sam’s view, Josh smiles softly to himself and refocuses on the road. 

They get to the movie theatre and Josh finds a place to park. Sam gets out of the truck and looks up at the large building. She hasn’t been to a movie in ages. She glances to her right when she hears the sound of the driver door closing as Josh gets out. She hasn’t spent time alone with Josh for almost as long. 

She takes a deep breath, moving her eyes back to the building in front of her. It’s just one movie. She can do this. 

“You coming, Sammy?” Josh raises his eyebrows, looking back at her as he heads towards the entrance. 

“Yeah,” Sam shakes herself and follows him. 

They enter the theatre and walk up to the ticket booth.

“Two tickets please,” Josh requests. 

“Oh, I can get my own ticket,” Sam smiles, pulling her purse out. 

“It’s cool, I got it,” Josh shrugs. 

“No, no, it’s fine,” she insists. 

Josh frowns at her, clearly confused about why she’s being so stubborn. To be honest, she’s not really sure either. She wants to tell herself that it’s because she knows he’s practically broke at the moment. But in reality, it’s because if he paid for her that would make this a date. Sam's ideas of dating don’t really conform to societal norms but she is very much aware that in some people’s eyes, that would most definitely make this a date. And she cannot under any circumstances let that be the case. 

This is not a date. 

_Alone at last._

_This is NOT a date._

“Alright then,” Josh mutters, paying for one ticket and then stepping aside for Sam to get hers. 

Sam steps up to the ticket booth and pays for her ticket. Then she and Josh walk on and head over to the concessions booths. Sam gets a bag of Skittles (pretty much the only vegan snack available). Josh orders himself a deal which gets him a large popcorn, a large soda and a packet of M&Ms. 

Once Josh’s arms are laden with snacks they head towards the screen. They show their tickets to the member of staff and walk through into the theatre to find some seats. 

“Look,” Josh grins, “best seats in the house are free,” he points to two seats in the middle of the back row. 

Alarm bells go off in her head. The back seats are for couples, couples who want to make-out. Josh knows that. He must know that. With all the lewd jokes he makes and the numerous movie dates that she knows he’s gone on with various people, he _must_ know that. 

She searches his face for any sign of suggestion or flirtation. His grin seems genuine and innocent which is unusual for Josh who has a permanent mischievous smirk attached to his face. 

She feels unable to protest again, she already made a fuss about the tickets, it will look weird if she objects to this too. But she can’t let him get the wrong idea. 

“Josh, I…” Sam takes a deep breath, “I don’t think the back seats are a good idea, there are certain... connotations and I’m just not-” 

“Sammy, Sammy,” he interrupts, “it’s cool, we’ll just sit somewhere else, okay?” He smiles softly. 

“Okay,” she breathes a sigh of relief, “thanks,” she adds quietly. 

“No problem,” he shrugs, “how about smack bang in the middle?” He nods to a couple of free seats. 

“Yeah,” she nods, “those look good.” 

Josh leads the way to the seats and they both sit down as the previews begin. Sam sits and nervously nibbles on her skittles. But as Josh sits there, focused on the previews, shoving popcorn into his mouth she finds herself slowly relaxing at the familiarity of the scene. 

Josh comments on the upcoming movies, telling Sam about the directors and the productions. He pronounces his opinion on each movie and whether it’s worth seeing without having seen it. She’s content sitting there and listening to him rant and rave. 

When the movie finally starts she happily settles down to watch it feeling relaxed. She enjoys the movie, she enjoys Josh’s company, she isn’t even bothered by the way he munches on his popcorn or slurps his soda. 

At the end of the movie the credits roll and the lights come up. Sam stretches her arms and yawns. Josh stays still in his seat, his eyes scanning the credits, taking in the names of all the people that worked on the movie. Sam sits patiently, happy to wait. 

When the credits finally come to a close and the screen goes dark they’re the last people in the theatre. Josh stands and stretches, Sam looks up at him sleepily from where she’s sat, her eyes drawn to the small sliver of his stomach that’s visible as his shirt rides up when he stretches his arms upwards. 

She quickly forces herself to look up at his face instead. She yawns, “time to go?” 

He looks down at her, also yawning and nods, “time to go,” he holds his hand out to her. 

She considers his hand for a moment and then takes it, letting him help her up. 

_Alone at last_

“Thanks,” she says, quickly taking her hand away once she’s standing. 

“No problem,” he shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets and starting to walk down the row of seats, toward the exit. 

“Josh!” Sam protests, “you can’t just leave your trash here!” She points to the mess he’s left behind. 

“Oh, right,” he mumbles and quickly comes back and picks it all up. 

They both throw their trash away as they leave the theatre. Outside, it’s only just got dark, the sun has set but the sky is still light. They quietly climb back into Chris’ truck and Josh starts driving them home. 

Josh doesn’t comment on her poor choice of music, he just rolls his eyes and smiles as she gets up one of her calm, late-night playlists. 

As he drives, Sam stares out of the window at the street lamps rushing by. She rolls the window down and lets the wind rush through her hair. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath of the fresh air, feeling peaceful. 

_Alone at last_

She sighs, perhaps being alone with Josh isn’t so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and feedback are always appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
